can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
