I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
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