I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize