he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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