I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
