Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I have feelings that need drinking.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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