All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize