gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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