You're completely useless in the revolution.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
