I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
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