oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
