Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Randomize
