i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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