Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize