There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
