I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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