im six kinds of drunk right now
We got so high we made milksteak
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
