I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
