Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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