I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Randomize
