from now on my penis is your penis
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
