dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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