Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
