She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize