I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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