I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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