he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
