Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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