I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize
