We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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