went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
