In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
We're using joints as your birthday candles
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
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