shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
