I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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