this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
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