He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
It's never too late to be topless.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
