I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize