the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
