if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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