I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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