doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
