i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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