Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
