There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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