that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize