you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
