sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
