Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
