I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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