woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Randomize
