I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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