your thong is hanging out like whoa
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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