Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I'm getting married
To pizza
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
