you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
