She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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