So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
