I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize