She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
